


These Games We Play

by Silvereye



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliborn (Homestuck) Being an Asshole, Caliborn-typical Caliborn really, M/M, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23812663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvereye/pseuds/Silvereye
Summary: uu: THE VIDEOS WERE FROM YOuR DEAD HuMAN PREDECESSOR. TO YOu.TT: I see.TT: What were they about?uu: WHAT WOuLD YOu DO TO FIND OuT.
Relationships: Caliborn/Dirk Strider
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: Unsent Letters 2020





	These Games We Play

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wildcard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wildcard/gifts).



undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering timaeusTestified [TT]  
  
uu: HELLO DIRK.  
uu: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.  
TT: Alright.  
TT: The one where I draw porn for you or the one where you threaten to kill us?  
uu: NEITHER.  
TT: That's new.  
uu: I HAVE BEEN READING.  
uu: SOME OF THE STuFF SHE SENDS ME.   
uu: MOST OF IT. IS INSuFFERABLE uSELESS SHIT.  
uu: BuT DO YOu KNOW WHAT I FOuND DIRK.  
uu: DO YOu.  
TT: Enlighten me.  
uu: TRANSCRIPTS.  
uu: SHE SAYS THEY WERE ORIGINALLY VIDEO FILES. BuT THEY WERE CORRuPTED. AND NOW IT'S ONLY TEXT.  
uu: I WOuLD NOT CARE FOR MORE SHIT ABOUT ANCIENT WINDBAGS WHO CANNOT SHuT uP. BuT.  
uu: THE VIDEOS WERE FROM YOuR DEAD HuMAN PREDECESSOR. TO YOu.  
TT: I see.  
TT: What were they about?  
uu: WHAT WOuLD YOu DO TO FIND OuT.  
  
TT: Is he telling the truth?  
TT: How would I know?  
TT: You're the supercomputer with superior search algorithms.  
TT: True.  
TT: I have never found any videos addressed to you specifically. Your brother didn't exactly leave heaps of personal data lying around where the Batterwitch could get at it.  
TT: But that doesn't mean this asshole is lying.  
TT: I don't know where he and his sister get their intel. Most of the servers from your brother's time have been fucked beyond recognition by now. If UU is mining something in the past she could have anything.  
TT: And it seems your bro and Roxy's mom knew you and Roxy were going to be here.  
TT: So it could be true.  
TT: Would you like me to calculate the probability of that?  
  
TT: What do you want me to do?  
uu: THIS IS NOT HOW WE PLAY THE GAME.  
uu: I ASKED FIRST.  
uu: WHAT WOuLD YOu DO TO KNOW.  
TT: There isn't much I can do over Pesterchum and you know it.  
TT: More drawings?  
uu: AS TEMPTING AS THAT IS.  
uu: NO.  
uu: WE WILL CONTINuE THAT GAME LATER.  
TT: Voice acting to accompany the drawings?  
TT: All the lurid scenarios you could ask for, now in full surround sound.  
uu: YOu ARE SAYING.  
uu: THAT YOu WOuLD SAY OuT LOuD.  
uu: ANYTHING I TELL YOu TO.  
uu: NO MATTER HOW NASTY.  
TT: Sure.  
uu: IN THIS CASE. YES. THIS IS ACCEPTABLE.  
TT: Can I ask a question?  
uu: ARE YOu REGRETTING OuR DEAL ALREADY?  
TT: Not in the slightest.  
TT: Why did you read those transcripts? You've mentioned before you don't care.  
uu: I HAVE TOLD YOu. I LIKE THE PARTS WHERE PEOPLE DIE.  
uu: YOuR BROTHER DIES SOON AFTERWARDS.  
uu: HE KNOWS IT WHEN HE'S MAKING THE VIDEOS.  
TT: I see.  
uu: ARE YOu PREPARED.  
TT: Of course.  
uu: I WANT YOu TO SAY.  
uu: YOu ARE DARLING TO ME.  
TT: Feel like I've heard that line before.  
uu: DO YOu WANT THOSE TRANSCRIPTS. OR NOT.  
TT: Sure. Wait a sec.  
TT: http://goo.gl/lvLpU.mp3  
uu: YES.  
uu: GOOD.  
  
TT: Are you really sexting with him?  
TT: I would hardly call that sexting.  
  
uu: NOW. I WANT YOu TO SAY.  
uu: JAKE HuMAN. I WANT YOu TO KISS ME.  
TT: Uh.  
TT: I thought you were not interested in this pairing?  
uu: NOT IN DRAWINGS.  
uu: ORANGE AND EMERALD LOOK SHITTY TOGETHER. AND THERE ARE NO BITCHES.  
uu: BuT THIS IS NOT A DRAWING.  
uu: IN A VOICE RECORDING. THERE ARE ONLY THE TWO OF uS. YOuR VOICE. AND ME.  
TT: Uh.  
TT: I see.  
TT: Okay.  
uu: I AM WAITING DIRK.  
uu: THIS IS TAKING YOu A LONG TIME.  
uu: IS THIS FINALLY TOO NASTY FOR YOu.  
TT: No.  
TT: Okay.  
TT: http://goo.gl/mSTQk.mp3  
TT: Are you ever going to tell me what those transcripts were about?  
uu: I AM.  
uu: BuT NOT YET.  
TT: How do I know you're not bluffing?  
uu: HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOu DIRK.  
TT: I recall some pretty damn convoluted games.  
uu: YES. BuT THE RuLES OF THIS GAME DEMAND THAT YOu PAY FOR THE KNOWLEDGE.  
uu: AND THE KNOWLEDGE IS THE CONTENTS OF THOSE TRANSCRIPTS.  
uu: THERE IS NO TWIST.  
uu: NOT EVEN THE TWIST WITHIN A TWIST. WHERE THERE IS ONE.  
uu: I AM BEING STRAIGHT WITH YOu.  
uu: YOu COuLD SAY I AM FEELING.  
uu: MERCIFuL.  
TT: I see.  
TT: Didn't know you had it in you.  
TT: What now?  
uu: NOW I WANT YOu TO MAKE.  
uu: SOMETHING TRuLY DISGuSTING.  
uu: BuT FIRST.  
uu: TELL ME YOuR HuMAN BROTHER'S NAME.  
TT: Dave Strider.  
uu: IT'S A GOOD NAME.  
uu: LIKE YOuRS. DIRK HuMAN sTRIDER. BuT DIFFERENT.  
TT: That's how human brothers' names work. Same but different.  
uu: I WANT YOu TO SAY.  
uu: DAVE HuMAN. I WOuLD LIKE TO "RuFFLE" YOuR HAIR.  
TT: I don't know man.  
TT: Are you sure this isn't too steamy for you?  
uu: DO IT.  
TT: http://goo.gl/zJgPI.mp3  
uu: AHH.  
uu: YOu REALLY WANT TO GET.  
uu: TENDER.  
uu: WITH YOuR HuMAN BROTHER.  
uu: I CAN HEAR IT IN YOuR VOICE.  
uu: YOu THINK YOu'RE GOOD AT ACTING. BuT I AM BETTER. SO I KNOW.  
uu: IT'S ALL TRuE.  
TT: Damn.  
TT: Got me there.  
uu: YOu HAVE PLAYED WELL DIRK.  
uu: SO I AM GOING TO TELL YOu.  
uu: ABOuT THE VIDEO TRANSCRIPTS.  
uu: DAVE HuMAN IS PREPARING TO GO FIGHT WITH A BITCH.  
uu: AS YOu DO.  
uu: OR YOu WILL.  
uu: HE THINKS HE IS GOING TO LOSE. WHICH IS TRuE. BuT STILL WEAK OF HIM.  
uu: A TRuE MALE WOuLD NEVER EVEN CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY OF LOSING. uNLESS IT ALREADY HAPPENED. WHICH IT HASN'T.  
uu: SO.  
uu: INSTEAD OF TRAINING. TO BE STRONGER.  
uu: HE IS MAKING STuPID BLATHERY VIDEOS. THAT HE HOPES YOu WILL WATCH ONE DAY.  
TT: I see.  
TT: Thanks for telling me.  
uu: THIS IS NOT ALL.  
uu: THERE IS A LOT OF TALK.  
uu: ABOuT TOuCHING YOu.  
TT: ...  
TT: You mean tenderly?  
TT: Hair ruffles and shit?  
uu: OH YESSSSSSSSSSS.  
uu: LOTS OF THAT DEPRAVED STuFF.  
uu: AND OTHER KINDS.  
uu: I DON'T KNOW HOW YOu HuMANS STAND IT.  
uu: ALL YOuR DISGuSTING HuMAN HAIR RuFFLES AND HuMAN MALE BONERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE.  
uu: IT'S JUST NASTY.  
TT: Okay, I have to ask.  
TT: Did my brother mention human male boners? Or are you just mixing shit up again?  
uu: WOuLDN'T YOu LIKE TO KNOW.  
uu: tUMUt  
undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering timaeusTestified [TT]  
TT: God damn it.  



End file.
